Monday, February 23, 2004

THE COUNTRY BOY RETURNS TO NEW YORK CITY

I'm back! And happy to be here. Aside from the traffic, the crowded sidewalks, the narrow aisles at Gristedes, and the high price of cigarettes. So, a quick review of what happened vs. what I expected.

FRIDAY-arrived 9:08pm on American Airlines #1550. Oddest thing: as the captain was giving the "Welcome aboard...." speech, he began it by saying, "Ladies and Gentlemen, from the pointy end of the airplane, this is Captain...." Weird.

Before leaving Friday night, I got hungry and had a burger at Wendy's in La Guardia. Therefore, I was not very hungry when I arrived in Nashville. But I forced myself to visit Waffle House, anyway. Mmmm, mmm, good. Then home to Mamma's, then to bed.

SATURDAY-I was supposed to go see my friend James Neal and pick up a gift from a friend who is a statesman in Virginia, but time slipped away. I will do my best to seek forgiveness at the first opportunity. Mamma cooked a big breakfast on Saturday, and I ate it all.

I could recap all the rest of the eating and stuff, but now's not the right time. Instead, I am going to close things up by just telling you about Sunday night, when my brother, The Great White Hunter, was at my mother's house.

Naturally, I had to be tuned in to the final episode. Big brother had never seen the show, and rarely heard of it. But he sat through it like a trooper. At one point, during a slow moment, I guess when Carrie was being silly in Paris, he asked me if I was returning to Kentucky in time to do some turkey hunting. I replied that I was doing NO hunting that required me to be awake before 6am. That means I escaped.

Big brother is getting serious about coming to visit New York City. Since he can't stay with me (he won't fit in my apartment), I guess I will have to put him up at the Waldorf. He will like that. Until he tries to buy a beer at the Bull & the Bear and finds out they are $9. Then he will alert them that, "in Kentucky, I can buy a whole damn case of beer for $9!." They might just comp him a beer because he is, after all, some six and a half feet tall and could easily go a muscular 280 pounds.

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